Today,

I finally spoke to Carlos.

I was so shocked when I got the call, I didn't know what to do or say. Then the next thing I knew I was crying. I couldn't top crying until he made me laugh. Speaking to him was like speaking to the world's greatest person ever. He told me he's coming back. I can NOT wait. He's told me about his job, his friends, his family, etc.
His call made it seem like there was no evil in this world. As if everything was perfect. His laugh made me have the happiest feeling in the world. I've never experienced such a thing. We didn't talk for that long but just hearing his voice after a year+ made me so.....happy. I don't know how to explain it.

Ah, my ninja turtle Carlos, my little brother. My everything.<3

Imma always be here waiting till I can finally smack you across the head and say I love you.
<3

He

makes me smile so much :)





♥

Ah man, I'm fucking up dood.


So much drama is happening, I sometimes don't even know what to do. I hate how the people you care about the most are the main ones who hurt you. But fuckit oh well that's life, I can't be letting that shit get to me. I know that I am better than that, I know that I am stronger than that. I never let anything get to me and I am not about to fucking break down to some shit people said. I don't care how many friendships I loose because of it. I rather loose fake friend than try to figure them out and get hurt. I don't think that made sense but fuckit. I don't care.

I hate all guys. I hate how they think they can walk all over you. I hate how they think they can do anything. I hate how they think they can break me down.


I am not going to cry over some guy. I am not going to fight over a guy. I am not going to get stepped on by a guy. I am not ever going to let a guy control me. Never gonna happen.



Fuck you guys.

Ah,

Figure it out
<3